Why I preferred my dog over girlfriends

Why I preferred my dog over girlfriends

By John Carter
August 29, 2009

I have hundreds of pictures and hours of video of my dog (Arizona Carter, Nov. 1, 1993 to April 22, 2006). I have less then a dozen pictures of me, and very few more of other people in my life. Some may wonder why. Below I will list, in no special order, some of the reasons I prefer pets to people. Even other people’s pets are generally better then the people themselves. I will add to this as I think of things. Your suggestions are welcome-ish.

           

 

10 15 18 22 31 35 37 Reasons I liked my dog better Dog | Girlfriend | Added
1 He always was happy to see me. I could be gone for 5 minutes or 5 days and he was equally happy to see me. Well, ok, if I was gone for 5 days he was A bit more happy. X
2 He was never so jealous that if I played with another dog that he refused to speak to me for a week. (Guys, how many times has that happened with your other class of ‘best friend’? In fact, you do not even have to be playing with another one, just talking is enough to make her made!) X
3 He always ate my cooking. More then once when I did not want him to because I left the room for a couple of minutes. In fact 15 seconds was enough time for a 16oz New York steak to be history regardless of how it was cooked Or not cooked. X
4 He never once complained when I laid around the house all day wearing just a bath robe. Although he did spend a lot more time out doors for some reason. X
5 A hamburger was all it took to keep him quite during a football game and I never missed the end of a game because it was time to go somewhere. X
6 He was always dressed and ready to go on time. Never once did I have to wait while he put his face on or could not find anything to wear. X
7 Not one credit card was maxed buying clothes because he simply ‘had nothing to wear’. (Although a few got close at PetCo for toys) X
8 He never once complained if I stayed out late and did not call. X
9 He never once required me to spend Thanksgiving at his Mother’s house where it was 95 degrees and no football and a bunch of his relatives were sitting around stinking the place up. X
10 Not once did he tell me how to drive, to slow down or where to turn. A few times he did look forlorn when we would pass a hamburger place that he could smell and we did not stop at it, but he never once told me to stop this car, ‘or else’. X
11 He never compared our house to the people up the street where the man earned more money and could spend more on his dog then I spent on him. X
12 A scratch on the head and a 30 minute walk was enough of a birthday, Valentines Day or Christmas present. He occasionally requested two a day walks. Actually he demanded two a day, everyday rain, sleet, snow, regardless. I can score this one either way so 1/2 point each. x x
13 Not once did he complain that he was stuck home all week and ask why do I never take him out anywhere? (Well, at least a walk was enough for him!) X
14 I never had to worry about not noticing that he had a new hair style. X
15 If I spilt milk on the floor he gladly cleaned it and then thanked me and asked me to spill more. GF’s response to this action is not printable on minors ok site. X
16 Never did he complain about my socks being on the floor. (He would not walk near them either, but not one word was uttered.) X
17 Not a single closet was completely consumed by his shoes. X
18 Never a time did I get in trouble for splashing water into his make-up. X
Not much good for keeping me warm on a cold night. Finally have to score one the other way. X
19 Was not a cover-hog, er, cover-hound, resulting in me freezing which makes up for not keeping me warm in the first place. X
20 Not a single time asked (shall we say demanded) that I sleep on the couch. Factually preferred I did not sleep on the couch because that is where he liked to sleep. X
21 Allowed me to sleep in until noon on my days off. Well, not entirely, I had to get up for the morning walk then I could go back to bed after breakfast. His breakfast, not mine. 1/2 point. x
22 Never once burned dinner, then expected me to eat it and tell him how good it was anyway. (Never made dinner either, so 1/2 point each) x x
23 The Sunday paper Zale’s ad was never left conveniently opened to the necklace page in the center of the coffee table. Although a couple of times in 12 years ads for the meat section for grocery stores were suspiciously left in my chair. (1/2 point.} x
24 Never asked during a NASCAR race, “if they can change all 4 tires in 12 seconds how come it takes tire dealers 4 hours?” (This is actually a good question, just not during green flag pitstops.) (I would like to know this myself….) X
25 Never once responded to “What’s wrong, buddy?” with “If you don’t know what’s wrong, I am not telling you.” (Triple Points) XXX
26 Not once during my telling a story did he stop me to correct me about “how it really happened”. X Sept 10, 2009
27 Not once finished my sentences for me. X Sept 10, 2009
28 Never a single time, as we walked out the door did he ask, “You are not wearing THAT are you?” X Sept 11, 2009
29 Never dragged me to a craft show. (Did once recommend a dog food tasting event. Actually it was a hamburger and hotdog cook out, but in his opinion that qualifies as dog food.) X Sept 11, 2009
30 Never recommended that I eat a salad for dinner to “slim down”. (Technically he wanted me to eat more salad to save my steaks for him, but that is a separate line item.) X Sept 11, 2009
31 Never required me to watch figure skating over a real sport like football, baseball, basketball, hockey, racing, motocross, ping-pong or checkers. X Sept 11, 2009
32 Never hinted that Green Bay lost a football game because their uniforms clashed. X Sept 12, 2009
33 Never stared at me with “the look” because I said something at a party that he disagreed with.
Did have a habit of sitting – phyisically – in front of the TV staring at me and rolling his eyes back and forth between looking at me and at the front door to let me know He wanted to go for a walk regardless of my desire to watch TV and not go for a walk. (No clear winner here, so a 1/2 point each)
x x Nov 25, 2009
34 The same window drapery for 10 years was good enough. (Double points!) XX
35 Never once woke me up by snoring.
Did a few times wake me with a look on his face that indicated that maybe I had woke him up by my snoring.
X Nov 25, 2009
36 Whatever, was never his favorite response to anything I did or said that he disagreed with X May 5, 2010
37 Never, never, never did he ask the killer, no way to answer and not get in trouble question, ‘Does my fur make my ass look fat’? (Impossible to award enough points for this one.) XXXXXXXXX
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38 And most importantly, he was always there for me, was always loyal and loving for the 12 years we were together. Buddy, I miss you more each and everyday. 1 Million Points

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