I Didn’t Know
– By Peggy Rushing; Des Moines, IA & Las Vegas, NV
I was lost, spiraling downward in hopelessness; I felt so all alone.
My problems seemed unsurmountable. Such pain i’d never known.
I felt there was no one to turn to, it seemed I was falling apart.
For all the sins I’d committed the guilt weighted heavy on my heart.
I was ashamed to talk to anyone, ashamed and so afraid.
I pretended all was well with me while I quietly died inside.
I didn’t want to hurt those who loved me lest they’d think they’d let me down.
So I continued to quietly suffer inside and sometimes I felt like i’d drown.
Through I didn’t know many Christian folks, I envied the one I knew.
They seemed to have such peace of mind. I never dreamed I would have that, too.
I thought, how great, in time on need, to call on God up above.
But even as I craved that intimacy, I felt unworthy of His love.
In my deepest moments of darkness, I’d wish I could call upon Him.
But why would He listen to the likes of me, whose life was full of sin?
After all I’d turned my back on Him for almost fifty years.
No, there was no god for me, just pain and guilt and tears.
So I didn’t even try to find God in my life, the only One who could give me hope.
I continued to suffer, hurting more everyday, til I came to the end of my rope.
Then God took things into His own hands, and decided I’d suffered enough.
He found a way to get through to me and show me His wondrous love.
I’d never listened to the radio much, at our house it was just TV.
But a maned Tony sold me some ads. We was sent by God, you see.
I started listening to the radio, to hear the commercials i’s run.
The words of the ministers struck a chord in me, and left me feeling stunned!
They said God loved us from the beginning of the world, each and every one;
That He loved us all so very much that He gave His only Son
To suffer and die upon a cross, and three days later to be risen,
So that all our sins, past, present and future would all be forgiven.
They said that there was hope for me, that I need not be alone,
That there could be peace and joy for me such as I’d never known.
That thought I’d been less than perfect and would always continue to be,
God loves me right now, just the way I am and will provide my every need.
Could the words on the radio really be true? Could God love even me?
I bought a Bible and started to search for the truth that could set me free.
The more I read, the more I knew what they said was really right.
God loves me and God loves you. We’re all precious in his Sight!
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and asked Him to forgive my sin.
Now I’ve experienced such peace and joy that it’s hard to hold it in.
The problems I had haven’t gone away, but I don’t have to solve them alone.
My Father in heaven is guiding me now, and He will til He takes me home.
When I first heard about witnessing, I didn’t think it was something I could do.
But to my surprise, I couldn’t shut up! I was telling everyone I knew.
It isn’t hard to tell how my life has changed, or what God means to me.
I want everyone to know the difference God’s made and how He set me free.
When I tell people, they not listen. Some people may even flee.
My family and friends may not understand, but they’ll see the difference in me.
No, they may not believe, but I’ll plant the see; The Holy Spirit can make it grow.
And if they don’t listen, at least I’ll have tried, and they can’t say