Patient Bill Of Rights – Doctors’ Opinion

Patient Bill Of Rights – Doctors’ Opinion

After listening to all the Medical Organizations discussing what is wrong with America’s medical system, I noted that Not once did any of the doctors take any responsibility for the problems. I heard “doctor this” or “doctor that” trash insurance companies, put down the drug companies, talk smack about government services like medicare, etc. However, these same doctors run their practices where the doctor is first, the patient is not only not last, but not important. The following Patient Bill Of Rights, from the doctors opinion is my take on how the doctors want the world to run.

Patient Bill Of Rights – by John Carter, October 26, 2009

  1. Patients shall make appointments at least 6 weeks in advance.
  2. Patients shall accept what ever appointment doctor offers regardless of if it is convenient or practical and even if it means loosing an entire day’s worth of work for a 5 minute office visit.
  3. Patients shall NOT cancel or change appointments without 3 weeks advance notice.
  4. Patient shall understand that Doctors can cancel or change appointments with 5 1 minute notice.
  5. Patient shall pay a missed payment fee if unable to meet the appointment.
  6. Patient shall understand that if doctor misses or cancels appointment, patient is still expected to pay for the appointment.
  7. Patients will pay co-payment equal or greater to the amount the doctor would charge a cash only patient.
  8. Patient shall accept that Doctor will also bill insurance company for amount 10 times the amount that would be charged to cash only payment.
  9. Patients shall arrive on time for all appointments. (On time means 30 minutes before actual appointment time.)
  10. Patient shall understand that Doctor will not permit staff to take patient into exam room before 30 minutes AFTER appointment time.
  11. Patient shall understand that Doctor shall require patient to wait in exam room for at least 30 minutes after patient is taken in to the exam room, for a total wait time of 1 hour after appointment time.
  12. Patient shall drop to knees and kiss the ring of the doctor when doctor finally enters the room.
  13. Patient shall understand that doctor will bill patient for 15 minute consultation but will only be with patient for 2 to 3 minutes MAX.
  14. Patient shall accept that the doctor is doing the patient a favor by collecting the patient’s money.
  15. Patient shall understand that the doctor has no obligation to treat the patient even after collecting payment.
  16. Patient shall understand that if doctor screws up during treatment that patient should not sue doctor or expect doctor to fix the problems created by the doctors without the doctor being paid extra money to fix what the doctor broke in the first place.
  17. Patient agrees to sign a release paper that means the patient has no legal rights in the event the doctor screws up.
  18. Patient agrees to pay the doctor extra if the doctor wants it without providing additional reasons or services.
  19. Patient understands that the doctor is entitled to time off, to be late for the office or to miss appointments since the doctor is an important person, unlike the patient who is polluting the doctor’s office with germs.
  20. Patient shall treat all doctor’s office employees as if their are only slightly lower then doctor’s royalty status, even if said employees are unqualified to tie their own shoe laces. The mere fact that they can pull scrubs over their head and work in a doctor’s office is royalty per sec, so accept it.
  21. Patient shall at all time provide only positive referrals and feed back about their experience with doctor’s office.
  22. Patient shall – at their own expense – actively seek out new patients for doctor’s office so that doctor may make more money each year without spending money on advertising – or providing honest services in a timely manner.
  23. Patient shall NOT at anytime question doctor’s opinion – second opinions are insurance industry garbage and patients should just accept doctor as the god that they are.
  24. Patient shall provide exact change to pay bill as doctor can not keep change in the office. In the event that the patient is not paying in exact cash, patient shall accept that the bill will be rounded up to consume what ever cash amount patient has.
  25. Patient shall understand that if paying by Credit Card that the credit card companies charge the doctor 3% processing fee and so doctor must add a 10% handling fee to all credit card payments.
  26. Patient shall never write congress or other elected officials requesting doctors be regulated, monitored or supervised.
  27. Patient shall understand that medical organizations – such as state medical boards or national organizations – are owned and operated by fellow doctors and that they exist ONLY to protect doctors from patients.

Comments are closed.